Rape Culture: Some Men Just Don’t Get it

Samantha Inesta
Human Rights Fellow
Founder/Executive Dir.

We are now living in a time where rape has become acceptable because of the mechanisms that have been put in place in our society to keep women at a lower caste than men. The misogyny of your grandfather’s era has reared it’s ugly head in the modern world where technology is more insidious and unforgiving. Locker room talk. boys will be boys and the ever popular “Oh it’s just a joke, get over it” has become the anthem for so many young men now that it sounds like a broken record. In reality this behavior is dangerous and has the leanings of a serial rapist or psychopath. The #MeToo movement all over the world has decried rape, sexual assault and abuse numerous times only for this disease to get worse. Why is it getting worse? Because some men just don’t get it.

Call it patriarchy, misogyny, dehumanization etc. it all lives in the same house-male privilege. Whether they were coddled growing up by a mother who was taught that she must serve every male in her home or the father that introduced this toxic behavior to his son while normalizing it. Either way it’s still doing as much damage now since the beginning of time. The paradigm shift may be occuring in some parts of society but it has not hit the male brain that refuses to change. However, there is a fix that can be implemented and has been suggested time and time again-other men. Men who have walked away from the social norms of what a “Real Man” is and have embraced women a valuable, equal and human. This is not a hard concept. Women have made amazing contributions to society, they are mothers, sisters, daughters and wives. When you put a woman in the category of disposable, all women become that way, even the ones in your family.

What makes a man want to harm a woman who going about her day running errands, taking care of her family or maybe even shopping, basically living her life? What is it about her that makes some men want to destroy her spirit, her will and her life? The reasons are all around us. Pornography, forced prostitution, human trafficking, the sex trade and the list goes on. This is what normalizes their behavior and makes that believe that they are justified in their actions and it’s okay to feel the way they do. None of it is okay and it’s hurting not only women and girls but whole families, relationships and marriages. Are these men willing to pay the high price that toxic masculinity has to offer them? Loneliness, being ostracized and never know what a healthy relationship or marriage is like. They will always live in dysfunction comfortable in their treatment of women and what it does to society. They just don’t get it.

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